This article below is an excerpt from my up and coming book about my journey. Enjoy.
Knowing that you are different from an early age can really mess with your mind, especially if you do not have the understanding and support of others.
When children are born, the doctor will physically check the genitalia of the child and mark either M or F on the birth certificate depending on what they have down there. This is referred to as “sex assigned at birth”. But science has proven that this is not as binary as we once knew. The same goes for gender identity. Gender is a social construct based on our visible genitalia. If you were born with a penis, you are a boy, if you are born with a vagina, you are a woman. Again, research into this binarism has proven that our minds do not identify in this way of thinking.
For those who do not associate with their assigned gender at birth, are referred to as Transgender. This is also an umbrella term for not only those who realize they are female, but assigned male at birth, or realizing they are male, but assigned female at birth. It also a reference for those who are non-binary who do not identify with either male or female. In short, the term transgender, is the terminology of those who do not identify with their assigned gender at birth.
We identify with a gender by the time we are three or four. For those children who do not identify with their assigned gender at birth, this can be traumatic for them. Speaking from experience, I was one of them.
For many transgender children, they go unnoticed for years, hiding in “the closet” because of various restrictions. Social constraints, family ignorance or religious groups just to name a few. I’ve heard of older trans people that don’t transition because of family issues, their children, or fear of being rejected. In recent years there has been more visibility to people who identify as transgender and although it’s becoming more scientifically understood about the gender roles in our biology there are still a lot of ignorant, bigoted people in the world including those in our governments who want to suppress the freedoms of transgender individuals based on their own religious or personal views.
With meeting more and more trans people in recent years, it’s apparent that many realize they are trans at a young age. For others, the signs are there but they do not realize they are trans until later in life. This was me. I’m a late bloomer. With connecting with people in the trans community online, I came across this quote, and it’s always stuck in my mind when I meet people who confide in me and tell me they are trans:
“It’s never too late to transition”.
I’ve known people transitioning in their 80s. Imagine that? Knowing you’ve been stuck in the wrong body for eighty years! Crazy. But the great thing is knowing the rest of your life, you can be comfortable in your own skin. I’m 39 and I felt like it was too late for me. But it wasn’t. However, the signs were there all those years I just never realized I was trans as well as being afraid to admit I am different.
Now, I’m much happier. I still have a lot of mental health issues to deal with and I have lost a couple of friends after transitioning, but overall, I have been very fortunate to have the backing of my family and of my friends. In fact, I’ve made more friends after coming out then I did before.
In this book, I decided to tell the story of my journey so far from realizing I was trans from such a young age through to being 40 years old and living my best life.
To keep transparency, when I talk about other people in my life, I do not wish to offend their pro-nouns or their gender identity. I will refer to female presenting individuals as girls or women and male presenting individuals as boys or men.